As I write, I usually see a cat hair flurry by through the air. Cats know when I need them, usually when I'm sad or something is brewing to the surface, and they know that their purr heals. They know instinctually to purr on me whenever I'm writing—at least when it's my heartfelt creative work. (If it's analytical, where I'm making lists, numbers or angry, they stay away).

I write because I want to get in touch with my heart. There is a longing that rises to the surface through my fingertips, when I'm feeling safe to let it out. That expression allows me to be those expressed words, when before I was shielding myself from being me.

Today, I spend the day motivating and helping my almost-18-year-old daughter write a 15-page play for the San Mateo Traffic Court judge in the Juvenille Court. We had the awesome experience of opting to meet with the judge on a speeding ticket of hers. We includes me because until she is 18, it's all about the parent.

Dear Destiny, I am ready now. I'm ready for my dreams to come true. I'm ready now, but let's say my dreams are already true (as they are in many ways), what does it look like in 3 years?

I was dressed up today wearing a suit. This hasn't happened in decades, it seems. I'm a freelance writer and yoga teacher. And I'm a mother of three. For many years, I'm not sure I brushed my hair every day.

She gave me this idea today to write only about the words I say out loud today. After yesterday, I had planned to make today a silent day, whereby I'll hide from others, and while in public put myself on MUTE. It's the Silent Retreat I've been dreaming of.

I'm not a scholar but I love quantum physics. I dreamed about it last night somehow and then saw someone post about the subject today (which I hardly ever see). One of my favorite books is The Tao of Physics by Fritjof Capra.

I read an article today posted on the Elephant Shambhala facebook page about True Love from a Buddhist's perspective. I immediately clicked on it believing it would all be about how it's not really love if you are grasping on to another person. [I hate those articles].

It was my older daughter's high school graduation yesterday. I have been meaning to make more of an effort to wear makeup and get dressed up more often. I watch my daughters and see all of their eyeliner.

Today is a day where I won't make any decisions without first having a sign. Until I see one, I'll be comatose. I want to see if this universe is really looking out for me.

Today seems like an auspicious day. It's a day where magic spells I've set will come true.

First of all, I keep listening to this live version of Breathe by The Cinematic Orchestra. Some words:

"That song is singing
singing into me
that everything I used to be

I take my writing cue today from Long Distance Love Bombs. He told me to "seek intimidation, hunt fear" and to basically search for opportunities today to go to my edge of confidence so that I can finally see that I already have all the answers!

"There is no passion to be found in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living." ~Nelson Mandela.

Now I know why this quote struck a chord in me today. I've been searching for a connection between my past description of bliss and my present lifestyle.

I've learned how to take on chaos and turn it to calm. I have a son who drives.

‍He has a new BMW "project car."

I saw someone I know last night, mid-bite, stand up and kill a spider with her fork. The spider was crawling up the wall nearby in the restaurant but not too close to us.

It's a theme rising with others in this group too, namely me: feminine and masculine (emphasizing one over the other). Who should we show externally to the world to succeed? To succeed as writers? As financial bread winners? As parents? As entrepreneurs?

I have a unique iPhone text sound for my favorite people. I dreamed this morning right before waking up of one of my favorite person text sounds. While still dreaming, the text read "I dropped 10". Then I woke up. I laid there in bed trying to figure out what it meant.

I had a dream last night of a cave where I've got giant tongs to reach into the cave and pull out stuff that needs to go. I pulled out one big black thing with tentacles that I wanted to throw away quickly without any of it touching me. I said, "My Vulnerability".

I am deep into an introspective place right now. It's a place of sophrosyne—a healthy state of mind characterized by self-control, moderation, and a deep awareness of one's true self, and resulting in true happiness. I'm thinking about the different levels inside myself I traverse. There are definitely different levels.